For some reason I decided to chat with an old hook up. I had written about him off and on because that's what we had, an off and on messing around kind of thing. He and I haven't talked in a while, and I think the last time we did, it didn't end well. I don't remember the exact conversation. He was kind of an asshole (his words, not mine) and I was an emotional roller coaster with the trauma over my mom and the death threat of my ex. All in all, the mixture of those two things were a bad combination.
I had thought about what he was up to the other day, and I decided to IM him. He and I would chat back and forth through out the off and on times we had. So I was pretty sure we would be online. And he was. If def felt strange to be chatting with again. It was familiar yet, different. We're both different people. I'm finally finding a new normal in my life; school, new job, meds to keep me leveled out. And he is engaged and seem genuinely happy. And I'm sincerely happy for him. This one chat has evolved into daily chatting off and on throughout our work days. Similar to what we used to do. But less laced with the underlying motivation to hook up.
Strange as it may be, I don't really have any ill feelings toward him. Yes, he was a douche to me. He even admitted it and apologized for it, which was a surprise to me, but very thoughtful. As a longtime reader, I'm sure he will feel flattered to once again grace the pages of my blog. During our random conversations, he asks about my love/dating life. Since I have shared with him, I felt like I should share with everyone else too. Here goes.
The graphic designer/artist guy I was dating in September isn't really in the picture that much. I was kinda right with my spidey senses telling me things were fizzling out. So I'm not too shocked. And I must say, the sex wasn't too good. He's a very nice person and a talented artist and we can still be friends, right?
I met NS at a bar I frequent a lot. Ok it's actually a karaoke bar I go to. NS and I had seen one another a few times there and ended up talking. Later he found me OKC where we exchanged phone numbers and agreed to meet up outside the bar. There was one moment when I slept over at his house, but not much happened other than sleeping and some making out/touching. He’s alright but I don’t think much will happen. I think we are better as friends. Also, I have a good friend** who lives right next door to his work. So more times he sees me with my friend**, than with him.
Next there’s G. He and I met on POF. He would have been my type when I was high school. He’s Filipino and has the bad boy/slightly ghetto appeal. A red flag probably would have been when he told me he was in prison for 2 years for aggravated assault, but he has been nothing but nice to me. We have gone out a few times and the last time we hung out (last week) we ended up sleeping together. Not going to lie, it was pretty good and I woke up sore the next day haha.
I met NN through the one CL post I made about a month ago. I wanted to see if I could manage to get back into the CL dating world. And HOLY MOLY! I forgot how much time it consumes to read through the responses, find the ones you want to reply to and then put the effort into getting to know someone to want to meet them in real life. It’s a freaking job!! Through getting to know him, I find out that he had some classes with my friend** and Seattle, like I have always said, is a small world. But one night after chatting and texting, NN came over to spend the night. It was clear that his 11pm arrival was for a hook up. No nonsense. I thought it would be a one night thing, but now we seem to have this flirty thing going on via text and phone calls. A few weeks ago we went to the Emerald City Comicon (Yea I like comics! What of it!?)And it was just sweet and cute to hold his hand. I don’t think I have walked around holding someone’s hand since the Ex. So when we held hands it def took me by surprise. I had plans after, so we couldn’t hang out longer. But I look forward to what will happen when we hang out again.
Ok so through this post, I’m sure you have noticed that I have written friend**. I may or may not be “in like” with my good friend. But am too chicken to say anything or do anything about it. We have a lot in common, similar family background/structure and he’s someone I would jump at the chance to be with. But I hold back. He’s seem me at my worst and I’ve had such emotional conversations that I end up crying. So he knows me. Ugh!!
And so, that sums up a recap of me and my dating life. Thank my once hook-up-now-online-chat-friend for the inspiration to write this post.
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